Because things happen............

So many things happen in our lives and we ask why? And we usually never get the answer or understand why? But i am one of the strongest believers in everything happens for a reason weather we like it or not, understand it or not. It's life! I have had my fair share of whys, why me, why us, how could this happen, what did i do to deserve this? But it the end weather i like it or not it happen for a reason. Sometimes we find out why it happen and it makes more sense sometimes we never do. For the longest time i asked myself what did i do to deserve this about DaCota's sperm donor. How could this happen to me. How could he be this way to his Son his only son. I didn't get it for the longest time. For ever it was me and DaCota and that was it. We managed the two of us all alone. I would raise him to be the best man he could possibility be and i would try to be the best mom for him. I believe we did okay but still felt sad for him that he didn't have a dad. A guy to show him guy things. But he had my dad and and i had girlfriends who had husband who treated him well. I eventually met Brian and it all made sense. We went threw what we went threw so we could met Brian and I could be loved and happy and DaCota could have a dad. Took a long time to understand that WHY but it was worth it. A little over a year ago we looked at a place to rent. A five bedroom house nice big yard. Everything was great loved love loved the house. We asked okay we want it we have the money now what do we do. He said well let us talk about it and we have other people coming to look at it. (sad) okay..........Within a couple hours i get a call from him while working out at the ymca i answer all out of breath hehehe. He said the house is ours we can stop by after and pay the deposit and first months rent. Yay!!!! So excited we go kids love the house we pay everything great we should be moving in a couple weeks. The guy was still doing some repairs to the house which was fine by us we needed to pack anyways. A couple days later the man calls to tell us he found someone to buy the house and he would be mailing our money back to us. UGH.... Devastated. I couldn't believe this was happening to us. The house was perfect for us. Everything about it was perfect. WHY??? HOW??? Just couldn't believe this was happening to us. We continued to look for more house but nothing compared or had enough room for all of us. So we stopped looking out of frustration after awhile. Well as much as we were heart broken and could not understand for the life of us what we had done to deserve all this bad luck today we understand! Three months ago we bought out first house. My mother-in-law kept on us about this house. It was a five bedroom on over an acre she swore it was just perfect for us. I swear she must of brought the flier over to us four times. We just like yeah yeah yeah we can't buy a house right now. We just can't. So one night we were out driving around and for the hell of it drove by it and pulled in drive way. I was like ugh it's square no peeks. So we peeked in the windows were we could. So my mother-in-law had told me call see if they have a rent to own option. So i called and asked and the Realtor Judy Fisher answered. I asked if there was a rent to own option she said well anything is possible why don't we set up an appointment so you see it. Well......okay! So we did. We walked in and DaCota kept punching me omg omg omg can we have it mom? lol I was the same way. I loved it. So we Judy was like what is the problem with buying it. Well........our credit blah blah blah. She said call this guy Rob Rudd he can help you with that. Then we can go from there. Well I called Rob and talked to him over the phone gave him what he needed. He called back said i need to you to call me when you have about 20 minutes to talk i said okay i will call you on my way home. That's an hour ride. So i did and with 20 minutes we were approved to buy the house. I couldn't believe it. This had to be a dream. I couldn't wait to go home and wake up Brian and tell him. (He had gone out and did snow at 1:00am so he was at home sleeping). The next month flew by and we were home owners! It was so crazy! I still can't believe it. So there is the answer to my WHY we didn't get the house we wanted to RENT because instead we were getting better a year later HOMEOWNERS! I have been pregnant 9 times yes 9 times. I have delivery 3 full term babies. Probably one of the hardest things to deal with was losing babies. There is no answers anywhere except from the man upstairs. The doctors didn't know why it was happening. I had DaCota 13 years ago and Ella 10 years later & Kayden 18 months after that. My last two babies have health issues and so maybe the babies i lost had worse health issues and god new it would be too much to handle. I am not sure. With that it was hard and very sad. I was mad i wanted more babies so bad. Dealing with the loss was hard but i had to tell myself things happen for a reason and god has a plan for me. And he did he gave more two more babies with are wonderful. The best part of my dad is when i go to the sitter to pick them up and they run as fast as they can screaming mama to me. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't change any of it for anything. Maybe the other babies wouldn't of been able to run. Maybe delivering one of them would of took my life and i wouldn't have what i have now. I don't really know the answers to the whys on that one. But i have become okay with it. I get sad and wonder how old they would of been now or how would they be similar to the babies now would they look like them? But again it's life and i don't always have control over what happens. I am busy in my life now and love it and have accepted that it was God's plan to do whatever he wanted. My oldest is now 13 wow 13! He is busy has a bunch of friends playing every sport pretty much a great kid except for the teenager attitude that comes out. I have two step daughters also Riley & Morgan. They have a Mama in their lives but i am blessed to be a part of their lives. Two the knowlegde and advice can't be a bad thing can it. I hope they learn something from me and take it with them in their own lives. They are learning to be young ladies from two completely different Mamas. I have had the pleasure of getting to know some people on facebook threw one thing or another. Not everyone's story is a white picket fence perfect! Things happen to people everyday! People loss loved ones unexpectedly with no answers to their WHYS. So keep in mind someone is always going threw something somewhere wondering WHY! Threw my journey of life so far i have learned a lot. It has made me who i am today. The good the bad the great the hard all of it has made me who i am today. We learn something everyday. We try everyday to be better for the people in our lives. I don't know Ryan & Shanna Marsh who's daughter Layla passed away from Cancer personally but that little girl chanced me as a Wife, Mama & friend. I let them know i think of them often. I don't know Kelli & James Staats who's Daughter Maddie passed away from SIDS. But it broke my heart to read there story. I felt horrible for that family. I let them know i think of them often and that Ella wears big bows for Maddie. I don't know Mellisa Jones Personally. I bought a Layla Grace Tutu from her shop little Diva tutus to Support the Marsh family and their Layla Grace Cancer research foundation. Her Son Zach recently committed Suicide. I can't even begin to imagine how Mellisa and the rest of the Jones family feels. I stop by Mellisa's page and send her some encouraging words from time to time and to let her know i am thinking about her and the family. She is now trying to educate people on Suicide. All three of these family have went threw one of the hardest things a family goes threw to lose a child! And with that have turned around and are now trying to educate, find cures, inform people of the evil thing that took away their babies. All i know is life is full of things that for the life of us we don't understand why they happen but it all happens for a reason. Everything in my life had made me who i am today and i am okay with that!