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| For Maddie |
A while back another friend of mine introduced me to the Layla Grace story which i know many of you followed. I followed that story and prayed for that family and Layla too. That story touched my heart and i think of Layla Grace on a regular bases. It bothered me that Layla went to play with the Angels i was having a hard time with it and got paranoid about my own daughter. The Marsh family touched my heart and made me a better wife, mother, friend. I will forever be grateful for the Marsh family sharing their Daughter Layla with all of us.
I read these stories and feel sadness for these families and ask WHY as so many other do.
Stories like this make me want to stay home with my kids but like so many of us i can't. There is bills to pay, kids to feed & clothes the list goes on & on. Life hasn't always been easy but no one ever promised it would be. I have never been the emotional over sensitive one i just dealt with the hand given and moved on. Then i had Ella and all that changed. Ella didn't come so easy though. She was our fourth try on babies and it wasn't easy. It was very emotional i wanted more babies so bad and after disappointment after disappointment was taking a toll on me and my relationship with Brian. Finally Ella made it and not having her 4 days we received that phone call that put the biggest pump in my throat ever. My baby has Cystic Fibrosis! She has WHAT????? I had heard of CF but had no clue what it did or what it caused. I was sick insistently. I remember Brian walking in and seeing me in tears white as a ghost and me trying to tell him what was wrong. He was on the computer in a second looking it up. I could tell by his face it wasn't good. So after finally getting my baby girl there was now something wrong you have got to be kidding me. So it was trips to specialist and tests and more tests. It sucked waiting for the results days after days and not being able to feed her certain formulas she couldn't hold down anything. We were taking her in on a daily bases just to be weighed. For months we were scared and unknown what was going to happen or what we were going to have to do. She is now 3 and doing just fine. She is sick a lot but we manage. We have also been blessed with Kayden. We waited for that dreadful phone call that he too would have cystic Fibrosis because it's a gene thing with the parents. We chose not to get tested and play the blame game and i wanted more babies. So we sat back waited for the phone call we just new we would get about Kayden and yes it came but he didn't have it. He instead has Galactosemia WHAT???? Again here we go i was prepared for the CF i need what would be in store for us. Not Galactosemia what the heck is that? So back to specialist and test for Kayden. We have it under control. Kayden also is NON-Verbal so we are learning to sign with Kayden thanks to his awesome therapist Laura.
So.........Life isn't always a bowl of cherries and things will probably not go your way more then not. But it's life! We deal with it as it comes things can ALWAYS be worse.
I have learned to have alot more patience then i ever did. My friend Wendy ALWAYS has said good things come to those who wait. I have never in my life met a more patient or positive person. She has seen her fair share of sadness that's forsure but always remained strong and positive. I always hoped when i had kids i would be the kind of mother she is. I remember one time Wendy was on the phone with one of her kids and he had broke something and instead of her yelling & screaming at him she in this small sweet voice said "i am very disappointed in you and we will deal with this when i get home. I was like WOW i would of never been able to do this. But i have tryed and will continue everyday to try. That is all we can do. Now she may have beat him when she got home i don't no! LOL just joking! Thanks Wendy for always being you! You have inspired me to always try to be the best person i can possibly be. I am so happy for Wendy because she finally married her kindergarden sweetheart after many years of patience.
Another line that has stuck with me since learning of the Marsh family was when Shanna marsh wrote about she would give anything to have Layla "helping" her with the dishwasher which she had previously complained about it taking forever because Layla had the "HELP". Another one of those moments you cherish your kids even though it may take 1/2 to unload the dishwasher. I learned to not rush my kids off so much because i am BUSY. All that crap will still be there tomorrow waiting to be taken care of.
The older i have gotten the more i realize i just don't have time for the crap! I don't have time for people who say their your friend to your face and behind your back they are talking crap. I am to old for that. My kids play that stupid crap now being 13 and 12. I am to old and to busy to worry about that kind of stuff. I don't play those games. I feel like i am a good friend and try to help out wherever & whenever possible. But i feel like that is a two way street. I help i help i help i need help oh sorry i can't! Yeah! I don't like two-faced people. Don't be nice to me just because you need something. I am human and i have feeling. I think it's crap when people do things or play games to intentional hurt your feeling. Like your nobody. So i have decided i just don't need people with negative crap in my life. People like that just cause issue all the way around. They don't realize how many people can be affected by there bull crap. So it's easier and better to not have people like that in your life.
My husband.........I love him dearly and probably don't give him all the credit he deserves. He works and provides for us(his family). He is at home all the time with us not out at some bar. So he wants to watch tv instead of sitting on the floor playing candy land is that really so bad? Sometimes i have a tendency to forget he works physically hard at work outside in the cold, snow, rain, heat whatever it may be his job is outside. Either its getting up at 130-2 in the morning to go push snow for 13 hours or days at a time.Or going to your regular job it's physically a lot harder then mine. So you don't want to play dress up with Ella or paint or babydolls, blocks whatever it may be. I understand! He is at home with us and he does things with us and a family we take trips go places see things. So .........i am grateful for everything he does. He is a great husband and good father. He is always there for us when we need him!
We are less then 4 days away from closing on our house! It has been a long time coming. He have had the worst luck with getting a house and it's finally here. Good things come to those who wait! (right Wendy)
I couldn't me more excited/nervous about this step in our lives.I never thought is would get here.
So i guess my reason for blogging today is that i am grateful for my life, my kids, my husband & my true friends.Life is what we make it. There will be bad days but there will be great days also. The people in our lives are because we choose them to be there. You will have disagreements with friends and family but it will work out if they are meant to be in your life. You will loss touch with friends but it doesn't mean they don't miss you or think about you from time to time and a phone calls usually charges all that. You will decide that certain people in your life just shouldn't be there and you will end friendships or what you thought were friendships. I hope i teach my kids about everything life is going to throw at them. I hope one day they will remember something i said or tought them when put in a situation. I hope i have been a great friend to my friends and great mom to my kids and and wonderful wife to my husband!
Have a great day!
Darcy
