Because i have to............

I would much rather sleep in then get up at 4:00am. I would much rather snuggle with my husband a little longer then get up at 4:00am. I would much rather stay in bed when Ella crawls in MaMa can i sleep with you? Please!!!! I would much rather make my kids breakfast then pack their bag for the sitter at 4:00am. I would much rather watch all those annoying cartoons then be at work. I would much rather be home when the kids get home from school and make them a snack then be on a train on my way home from a very long day. My day starts early! I am a wife, a full time employee, a full time Mama. The first part of my day starts at 4am and ends about 4pm if i am lucky. The second part of my life starts at 4:05pm and usually ends no where around where it should. I know a lot of my friends this is their life also. It's hard! But we work because we have to. We have to contribute. Because we want to give our families the best we can. I am not sure most of the time how i juggle what i do. Everyday life is hard sometimes most times. Don't get me wrong i wouldn't trade it for anything! Well.........I can't say if i won some Massive amount of money life would be a little easier and i would be sleeping in. But it's hard to work full time and take care of your personal business 9-5 stuff while your at work. By the time i get home everything i need to take care of is closed! I am having a hard time! I am feeling very overwhelmed lately and i miss my kids. I want so much to stay home and play with them and be with them and love them. It's always so busy i feel like i never have ENOUGH time with them. That is one of the hardest feeling to deal with! That you don't have ENOUGH time with your kids. I want to be there i want to see every detail of everyday of every moment of their lives. But i can't and it's hurts. You don't know what that feeling is like unless you live it. And if you live it you know how bad it hurts! One of the hardest things for me is when Ella wakes up in the morning before i leave and says Mama please stay home with me today................PLEASE ugh that is absolutely HEART-WRENCHING for me. It brakes my heart to tell her No Bell MaMa has to go to work. But why??????? So Mama can buy you all those things you point out on TV you want. OH okay..... Heart braking i tell ya heart braking. But i do it because i have to.